Sorry this is long, I hope you find it worth it lol!
I was raised a Christian but my first big faith experience when when I was 12. I had lost my memory to a very bad seizure at Mayo Clinic Rochester MN. I didn't remember anything of my life. I had been in the hospital to have my colon removed because of Ulcerative Colitis. I don't remember much of the hospital stay but trying to go back to normal life was very difficult because although adults can understand, "she had a seizure and lost her memory" that isn't something my classmates that were also 12 could really understand, and even they could there was no way for me to be the old me, I didn't remember her. It would be an easy way to have a new birth ...but it wasn't easy at all! Nothing since has yet to compare to the loneliness of not remembering yourself or anyone else. Someone in a peer group suggested I turned to the book of Job. I did that and also looked at other Scripture begging God to help me. I was getting counseling at the time as you can imagine, but I didn't find it very helpful. What I did find helpful was prayer and scripture.
I had been told (maybe not wisely) that I had gotten very close to death a few times at Mayo. I Kept asking God why he didn't let me die if life wasn't working out in any way. Nothing was going right, it seemed I could do nothing correct, there didn't seem to be one aspect of my life going as it should. That was the first time -or at least the first time I can remember that I felt an answer to my prayer.
You are meant to do thing in this world, you are important. You will do thing for me (Christ). (was the feeling or message I got)
This helped me a lot. It didn't make life suddenly get easier but it at least gave me the will to fight and the belief that I had somewhere to turn when I was down. Which I continued to do because the struggle did continue.
I didn't know what I was going to do with that message right away. While in highschool though I did want to be a Pastor. My health problems as a child were still with me with some others. I didn't only thought of them as challenges at that time, and my Pastor did put me the correct path.
I majored in religion at a Catholic college. I wasn't catholic but in my denomination there were not colleges near to home and I had, "challenges" that made being close to home helpful. I loved college. In my first year during the first semester break when home a friend of a friend of mine and I started dating that is now my husband! We were engaged for 4 years before we got married because I wanted to finish college first.
During our first year of marriage within the first few months I got into the worse pain of my life...and began needing more doctor visits than ever before. It turned out that one diagnosis of my past was a misdiagnosis and many more joined it. I lost count at one point. At first I was determined to stay the course and try to keep headed to become a Pastor someday. Now I am pretty sure ordination is not int he books for me but I do realize their are many ways to serve God and other types of "Pastors".
One of the first things my husband told me (before we even dated) was how much he wanted to get married and have children and raise them well. Be a better Father than he had. I can't have children ...a mirracle of this kind would be Oprah, newspaper and scripture worthy! We have been trying to adopt for over 4 years.
We had tried to adopt our first foster to adopt special needs placement. We had him for 2 and half years and it was the second hardest thing to have to say good bye to him. I at least get o hear a few updates on him. It hurts though to know that his mother raises him with opposite morals than we gave him sometimes. Anyway, my husband and I want children very badly. I am pretty strong and although I may react, I always trust in God and go on.
I almost forgot, because of the multiple diagnosis that came I had to quit working. I receive disability. My husband began a business that I help with. These days I am no longer live in constant pain and MOST of the time my numerous diagnosis-es are stable. Fatigue is my biggest issue since I still have the issue of needing my medications. At least at this time the number is no longer rising and I can once again walk in a store even during winter! Praise God!
PRECIOUS KAT....
AND YOU ARE WRONG...YOU DO HAVE A MINISTRY....A MINISTRY OF HOPE AND LOVE AND BELIEF IN JESUS IN YOUR WALK....NO MATTER WHAT LIFE AND MANKIND AND SATAN HAS THROWN AT YOU....YOU STILL FIND REASON TO SING.
YOU ARE A JOY TO ME AND TO ALL THE GFB FAMILY WHO IS COMING TO KNOW YOU...
CONTINUE TO SHINE AND SINGGGGGGG FROM YOUR HEART KAT!
BE BLESSED AND STAY BLESSED IN OUR JESUS!
ORIGINALLY POSTED BY OUR OWN RHONDA KLUG
Kat,
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with us. You have been through a lot and continue to go through much but what a testimony that God is with you through it all. Thank you for loving and mothering foster children. That is a very special gift that you are giving.
I am in agreement with you in prayer for more children to be in your life - whether foster parenting and/or adopting.
I am very grateful to be your friend.
Rhonda
ORIGINALLY POSTED BY OUR OWN MELESIA (MAY)
Very touching Kat! You are truly bless! I see more and more everyday, and meet more and more people like you everyday, the just encourages me so much hold on tight no matter what. I know Jesus is there for us always, and your story have touch me in a very special way. May our good God continue to guide you, provide for you and give you all that your heart desires.... :)